How to get a wife and have a secured marriage

Write Sura Yusuf (12) the entire chapter) on a Wednesday and wash yout body with it at sunrise as you sit on a stone. This should be repeated on Sunday before sunrise as you sit on a stone.  The sura should also be written and rubbed on the leg; and you should also rub it into some meat winch you will cook and eat. The one who does this will have a wife, by the Grace of God. If you do this with your wife, the two of you will never divorce and have a secured marriage.